Day Four and Counting
So, here we are in day four of not talking to each other. Ha, Ha, what a hoot. I'll bet he never realized I had it in me to go that long without a decent conversation.
Well, I've got news for him. I've been talking to someone else. You see, this last fight finally broke me, and I went running into someone else's arms. On Sunday, after I spent hours trying to get Hubby to see my side - any part of it - he said, "Okay, stop. I need some room." I don't know how to explain what happened. I snapped. Something in my heart said, "He's right. Shut up." So I did.
So, I spent much of Monday angry, but saying nothing. I did some praying, as I said, lots of writing. Usually ten pages starts to calm me down. I won't write him a letter because he doesn't read, and when he does he forgets it within a few days.
Monday night as I crawled into bed, my eyes fell on a magazine. A book advertised on the page was titled, "Is God Enough for You?" And I realized He hasn't been. I mean mentally I know He should be, but I haven't been allowing Him to be.
So, I slept on the couch that night. And I dreamed about an old married couple who died choking each other. Even in death, we couldn't get their hands off each other's throats. No, I wasn't angry. :)
Tuesday, it started. I threw myself completely into the arms of God. I began to pray. I began to seriously ask God what to do about my marriage. And he has basically said, "Wait." I will probably take a few posts to share some of the things I've learned about my marriage and what God expects of me. Hope you gals don't get bored. I'd share them now, but this post is already getting long.
Well, I've got news for him. I've been talking to someone else. You see, this last fight finally broke me, and I went running into someone else's arms. On Sunday, after I spent hours trying to get Hubby to see my side - any part of it - he said, "Okay, stop. I need some room." I don't know how to explain what happened. I snapped. Something in my heart said, "He's right. Shut up." So I did.
So, I spent much of Monday angry, but saying nothing. I did some praying, as I said, lots of writing. Usually ten pages starts to calm me down. I won't write him a letter because he doesn't read, and when he does he forgets it within a few days.
Monday night as I crawled into bed, my eyes fell on a magazine. A book advertised on the page was titled, "Is God Enough for You?" And I realized He hasn't been. I mean mentally I know He should be, but I haven't been allowing Him to be.
So, I slept on the couch that night. And I dreamed about an old married couple who died choking each other. Even in death, we couldn't get their hands off each other's throats. No, I wasn't angry. :)
Tuesday, it started. I threw myself completely into the arms of God. I began to pray. I began to seriously ask God what to do about my marriage. And he has basically said, "Wait." I will probably take a few posts to share some of the things I've learned about my marriage and what God expects of me. Hope you gals don't get bored. I'd share them now, but this post is already getting long.
posted by Harleys @ 11:21 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:07 PM,
Katrina said…
What a tremendous revelation! Thank you so much for sharing so openly and frankly with us, Debbi.
You are in my prayers! I'm looking forward to hearing more about what God is teaching you (I can always use some help!)
At 1:23 PM,
Jennifer said…
Yes, I think it's safe to say that none of us has this whole marriage thing figured out. What you learn, I look forward to learning from you! You are in my prayers too, sweetie, and I know that OUR God is able to do anything - when we let Him!!! Keep your chin up and know that you aren't walking alone - you have US - your internet prayer circle to walk with you :)
At 8:01 PM,
Rabbity-Sniff said…
I find it more difficult to resolve conflict with fellow believers than I ever expected - especially when it comes to my husband. We thought we had similar spiritual backgrounds but we find another little something every year that we don't meet eye-to-eye about. Sometimes I want to leave him and go home! Maybe then he would hear what I thought God was telling US. All that to say that I know many women who struggle with an ailing relationship to their husband but somehow manage to learn what God is teaching through it all. Does this ever happen to husbands? I guess they don't have the habit of "journaling" so that even if it does happen to them and they learn amazing things from God by being hurt by earthly loved ones, they would never write about it and so no one would ever know about it.
I like that you have us and that we all have each other. Thanks for being transparent and sharing . . . and then putting up with our 2 cents : )
When I think of my real friends, Debbi, you're always the "first" on the list. You were my first real friend and I'm glad we have managed to stay friends even if we're not so close. Even friendships have seasons. I'm looking forward to hearing from "the Happy Wife" and how God is touching your life. He'll see you through this "winter" season and on into the renewing "spring."
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