Patience is Who's Virtue?

This is another lesson I learned a little bit of while my Hubby and I weren't speaking. we are talking now, by the way. Things are going great. Last night, we talked about how to discuss needs and problems we have without losing our cools.

Anyway, the lesson was patience. After we had our big argument, and I finally surrendered to allow God to do the work in my life, I felt a very calm assurance that I needed to allow my husband to apologize first. No, this was not an "I'm not gonna do it, he's gonna have to do it" moment. It was more about if I truly want him to lead our home, then this is where God wants me to start.

So, we spent a whole week not talking. I got up in the morning, made his lunch, went through my day as usual, made his dinner, did his laundry and prayed for us. But we only said to each other things that absolutely needed said.

I think the climax to this whole thing was Friday night when we took the kids to a Harvest Festival. We spent three hours in public with our children and hardly said anything to each other. I just kept praying for patience, and for God to have me completely ready to be a great wife when the time came.

Finally, on Sunday, I manipulated things a little. I took us breakfast in bed. But I didn't say anything. We had completely finished when he finally said, "I'm sorry about last week." I answered, "Me, too." ( hey, guys get away with that, why can't I?:) ) He said, "This week sucked." And I couldn't agree more. We talked for a while, then started our day.

This week has been better. I find myself falling into the old trap of "my marriage is okay, so everything is okay" and I need to steer away from that. I am learning to keep my mouth shut when he doesn't do exactly what I'd like when I'd like, and I'm finding that it works out fine. Last night, I read a little prayer that states the attitude I want to acquire:

"Dear Lord, like a child with her mom, when I say now, I mean right now! Thank you for not always dropping everything in the universe and rushing to my rescue. Instead, you have allowed me to feel my neediness and experience my limitations so I will understand that it is you who will (eventually) save me. I don't want to refuse your perfect plan; I want to find refuge in you. Then I will have the stamina to make it to the end. Amen"