The Happy Wife

Over the past eight years, I have become aware that my happiness in my marriage is as much dependent on what I do for or with him as it is on what he does for me. Happiness is a choice I make. I would love for my blog to become a place where other wives would come to be an encouragement to each other by reading my blogs and their comments.

Monday, January 16, 2006

Finances

Hubby and I are currently going through a financial makeover. You would think, since we own a business, that we would have handled this area years ago. But we haven't. So here we are into our thirties (okay, he's twenty-nine) and we have nothing. Well, it's not quite that bad. We have each other and the kids - and the dog. But I - and he says he - want the security of a few months' worth of income in the bank. I'd like to quit paying outrageous fees on maxed out credit cards. I don't like living paycheck to paycheck - that's too stressful when you own your own business and don't know exactly when the next paycheck is coming.

So, I just finished reading "Debt-Proof your Marriage" by Mary Hunt. It's good. I am trying to implement what she said. The melancholy in us is saying "we'll see," the choleric in me is saying "I will kill you if you use that debit card for anything other than fuel right now," and I'm not sure what in him keeps whining "But what about you?" I have a feeling we are going to go through another marital fire before this is over.

So, after many months, I have a new question: Do you have financial harmony in your marriage? If so, what do you do to attain that?

posted by Harleys @ 12:20 PM  

9 Comments:

  • At 2:16 PM, Blogger Jennifer said…

    I'm happy to say that we do! I don't know exactly how, but Michael & I almost never (and I do not use that lightly or loosely) fight about money. We worry allot since we too live paycheck to paycheck - and have all our lives - but we're working on a plan to help prevent that from continuing. Our problem was that up until October, we too ran our own company. So, never knowing when you'll get paid or how much exactly you'll have to spend each & every month makes putting together a plan very difficult. The things we've learned (and are doing out best to use) are these: 1. always tithe, no matter what. Give 10% of your income to God (or, if you don't attend church, a charity). 2. Save 10%. We only save about 5% per paycheck right now, but that's only until we get all of our bills caught up. 3. Live on 80%. You just cut out everything you possibly can, and live on what you absolutely have to have (food, utilities, gas, etc.). We've cut out everything we possibly can, and do our best to not eat out all the time. It's hard, but we're agreed on that plan, which helps us not to fight or argue.

    Trust me, we do fuss at each other from time to time. But, for the most part, we agree that we will not, under any circumstances, let money rule our marriage. We've taken up the attitude that it doesn't matter where we live or what cars we drive (both paid off and older, by the way), our family and marriage take priority over everything else. You just have to resign yourself to that and remind each other if tempers start to flair. You have to be strong for each other & your family :)

    Hope that helps some! Kind of condensed, but too much to type all at once :)

     

  • At 10:49 AM, Blogger Harleys said…

    You sound like Mary Hunt - with the 10%, 10%, 80% thing. That is one of the big things we are starting to do. Of course, I read most of her book, THEN got to the part for business owners, so I am having to redo all the set-up work I thought I was doing. It will actually make things a little easier, since we actually give cloer to 20% to our church, so it's like "how do I split up the rest of it?" But since I am resetting everything based on a regular paycheck from the business instead of using the business income, I think it will make more sense. I hope so.

    And our marriage has never been in jeopardy over money. It just feels like we're seldom on the same financial track.

     

  • At 11:02 AM, Blogger Katrina said…

    I hate to admit it, but if it weren't for the non-optional retirement program offered by my husband's employer, we'd be spending right up to every cent of every paycheck. We've never been great savers, though we've tried off and on over the years.

    Despite all that, our spending styles are pretty similar, so money has never been a point of contention between us, although there have been plenty of times of worrying over it.

    We've tried many different systems over the years, but what seems to work best for us is for me to have charge of the checkbook and paying the bills. He carries a debit card around, but has developed the habit of calling me the moment he uses it for something so that I can write it down in the checkbook register. We consult each other on every purchase that's over five bucks or so, which might get tedious for other couples but works okay for us. He balances the checkbook, so he and I both get to see every purchase made. This transparency really heads off a lot of arguments.

     

  • At 11:03 AM, Blogger Katrina said…

    Oh, I forgot to mention that we are using our tax return this year to totally pay off our credit card balance, so the only debt we will have will be our student loans. Woohooo!

     

  • At 12:04 PM, Blogger Jennifer said…

    Uuuggghhh!!! I hate student loans. We've had to defer our payments a few times (due to financial hardships) and, over the years, the balance has actually gotten bigger instead of smaller, and that's after paying on it for a few years. How wrong is that?!?

     

  • At 12:58 PM, Blogger Harleys said…

    Wow! I have to say I do feel blessed that we don't have student loans. I've heard horror stories about them. My husband learned everything he knows pretty much OJT - from some very good carpenters, I might add. I think hubby and I need to remember that financial harmony doesn't necessarily mean financially well off. We can have harmony no matter where we're at.

     

  • At 8:57 PM, Blogger jon said…

    Luckily I have a wife that is good at all that. When I was on my own, things were not so good. She has a budget that includes EVERYTHING- clothes, car maintanance, everything. And best of all, she sticks to it. As a result, we have not been late on a single bill in the eleven years we've been married.

     

  • At 9:11 PM, Blogger Rabbity-Sniff said…

    Hmmm. No comment.

    or ...

    the secret to our financial harmony is that we have none to harmonize about.

    someday . . . soon I hope . . .

     

  • At 8:01 PM, Blogger Jenny said…

    It took dedication and a strict plan. When we were first married we had major debt, stress and no money. We managed and with a plan had everything in order in 2 years!!! Sounds like forever but it wasn't. We are now organized have money put into a retirement plan, savings account and we bought our first home in October. It still is hard. I've learned it's better to save up for something than go right away and get it!!!!
    It's attainable!!

     

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