Russian River Falls

Last night was family night. We got out of church at 6:00 p.m. and headed for the Russian River Falls trail. It's a nice, couple-mile hike back into the wilderness to the river, where, on an average August day, you'll see the salmon jumping up the falls and on a good day, you'll get to watch the bears catching them. We had a good day. When we arrived at the falls, a brown bear was having dinner. We got to watch him/ her catch two salmon, then he/ she dashed into the woods with the last catch.

On the hike back to the truck, I was alone - Hunny and the kids had their bikes and left me in the dust. As I rounded a corner, the sound of the river completely disappeared behind a hill. I stopped and listened to the stillness. I couldn't even hear the kids in the distance - just - nothing. It was so beautiful.

Suddenly, I was transported back to Coudersport, PA, where my now husband and I went for our first walk. It was at a friend's birthday party, and we escaped the volleyball game to head up the hill. Springtime in the mountains. It was so peaceful. It was also the first time we held hands. We walked slowly, talking about I have no idea what. Just getting to know each other, learning things - remember those days?

When I recalled this experience to my husband a few minutes later, I mentioned that it had been just the two of us. He looked at the kids, and said, "We've come a long way, baby." He also reminded me that it wasn't our first time holding hands, but I refuse to count the ice rink where he and my brother tried to kill me by making me skate as fast as they can.

So, what is one of your favorite firsts in your relationship with your husband? First dinner you cooked him? First kiss? First anything?

Secrets in a marriage

I have been thinking I needed to post something new, but have been drawing a blank the last few days. Thank - you, Jon, over at The How-Not-To Guide, I have a new subject.

First of all, let me say that while I found that post kind of funny - most of his others were funnier - it grossed me out. Which brings me to secrets in a marriage. I am all for them. Any one else with me?

I am not talking about buying a dress for $80 and telling your husband it was $40. That isn't a secret, that's a lie. I am talking about the fact that some things just don't need to be shared - even, or especially, with your spouse. For instance, my husband does not know every detail about what happens to my body certain times of the month. He learned some of it in health class, but he learns nothing from me. To my discredit, he can usually figure out when I'm PMS-y. He also doesn't know what days I have insecurities about our marriage.

He has secrets, too. He has responsibilities at church that sometimes involve knowing things about people, and he doesn't tell me. That's fine with me. I also don't know much of what he does in the shower. And peeing - I hadn't even considered it until today. Had no clue. Was heavenly oblivious. Now I want to go clean it every time he gets out, just in case.

And guess what? I'm not going to ask him. When I mentioned Jon's blog to him, I did it with my back to him and I told him not to make any noise indicating whether he does or doesn't. That is one secret he can keep.

So how about you? Do you think a marriage should have secrets? What would be an acceptable secret? What should definitely NOT be a secret?

I've been thinking about tagging Jon on the subject of secrets. If you agree with me, go over and tell him he's been tagged. I'd love to get his perspective - and yours, so don't forget to leave a comment.

Sick Days

My Hunny is wonderful. He tries so hard sometimes.

He was home working in the office for two days this week. As luck would have it, I got sick the first day. Nothing serious - just a cold. But it came at a very inopportune time of the month - like a double whammy. So, he thought I needed to stay in bed. The trouble with this is the office is in one end of our bedroom, and he was listening to Rush Limbaugh. Now, I have nothing against Rush - I'm a bit if a fan - but he is not what I need when I'm sick. So, I told Hunny, "Thanks, Babe, but I'll lay around in the recliner and if I need anything the kids can get it for me. That'll keep them out of your hair."

He spent the day in the office, but checked on me very frequently and helped out where he could. He loves me.

Here's an odd question: Have you ever told your husband he loves you? If so, what was his response?

I have told my husband, "You love me." The first time, he looked a little confused, but he agreed with me. Now, he realizes that when I say that, it is because I feel very loved, and I'm showing my gratitude for that feeling.

My Man's Sense of Style

My husband has several things in his closet that I really like to see him wear. Cowboy boots, certain ties, shirts, and jeans. Some of his stuff is much sexier on him than on the hanger :).

I think the boots were one of my favorite items he wore. I don't know why - just something sexy about a suit and boots. I actually wanted him to wear them for our wedding, but he wore dress shoes. I do love that he checks with me every week about what tie to wear. I like knowing that my opinion matters. And I like picking out the ones he doesn't necessarily care for, but he really looks nice in.

But my absolute fave thing he wears is his wedding ring. This is a big deal for me because when we first got married, he wasn't allowed to. His boss told him it was too dangerous, and he needed to leave it at home. It's true. He's a carpenter and there is a chance that his ring could someday get caught in a saw. But when he started his own business, one of the first things he did was start wearing his ring to work. He said, "I'm the boss now, and I say I can wear it." Sheesh! Did I say the other day that he's not very romantic?

But what my husband may not know, and I will probably tell him, is that his wearing that ring is one of the things that reminds me to pray for him throughout the day. Because of the danger involved, when I see my wedding ring, I often pray for his safety - not only for his finger, but when walking on the trusses, when running the saws or if I know he's especially tired.

So, is there anything in your day that reminds you of your husband? Or do you just think about him all the time? Has he ever told you that there is something in his day that reminds him of you? If these questions are too personal, you don't have to answer. :) How about this one: what is your favorite item of his clothing?

Laughter - the best medicine

We've all heard that laughter is good for your health. It relieves stress and blah blah blah. I don't remember it all. My husband and I had a few good laughs this week.

The first was when my youngest son - age 5 - decided we needed some enterainment. As we sat on the couch, he started dancing and doing his whaling captain routine. A ham to be sure. I know you had to be there, but we were in stitches. He went on for probably a half hour. I can just imagine what a disaster we are creating with this kid. He is so funny. I just keep thinking I hope it's still funny in a few years.

The second time was when my husband and I fell in the shower. Yes, both of us. Of course, it was his fault. Yes, he will kill me for telling you. He turned on the cold water as he was getting out, and when I backed away from it, I slipped and knocked him over, in turn knocking me over. It hurt, but it was funny. I'm still laughing as I type this. The part we can praise the Lord for is that he didn't re-injure his knee.

So, maybe this one was a little personal, but I had to share it with someone and he won't let me tell any of my friends here.

I think laughter is important in our marriage. If we go too long stuck in drudge of life, I really start to miss those times of hilarity. Question: What is a "little" thing that is important in your marriage? Have you done it recently, or do you need to bring it back?

Alligators and Puppy Dogs

My husband is not naturally romantic. Usually, if he says or does something romantic, it's because the guys around him have been so romantic lately that he feels guilty, so he does something. Works for me.

In July, we were able to steal a rare half hour for a romantic walk along the bluff in our town. It was romantic because it was slow. It was slow because he was on crutches. I told him later that I really enjoyed our walk and that I wished he were on crutches more. We had a bit of a conversation about it, and I sighed, "Ah, I married an alligator."

I then explained to him that when a woman calls Dr. Laura Schlessinger (please, no hate mail. I'm sure you have your reasons) to complain about something her hubby does or doesn't do, Dr. Laura often tells her, "When you marry an alligator, you can't cuddle him like a puppy dog."

My husband said, "You know, deep down there is a puppy dog." "Really?" I asked, hope welling up in my soul.

"Sure, I ate him for lunch."

Smart aleck. I have to say his sense of humor is a puppy dog trait - most of the time.

Two questions today: If alligator is the part of your husband you would like to change and puppy dog is the part you are completely happy with, what percentage of your husband is each?

Now, here's the one where you have to be honest: If alligator is the part of you that your husband would probably want to change and puppy dog is the part he's completely happy with, what percentage of you is each?

I would have to say that my husband is probably 80% puppy dog, and the 20% alligator is not teeth. It's more like that rough tail. It belts me in the leg every once in a while, but most of the time I can live with it.

I'm probably about 60% puppy dog and 40% alligator. I know there are things about me he would change, but he doesn't complain about them.

Tag - I'm It!

Sheesh! This is hard. I have no idea. Why is it you love all these things, then when someone asks you to make a list of them, you can't remember a single one. Here goes:

Five Light Reads:
1) Humor for a Woman's Heart 2
2) This Old House Magazine
3) House plan books - we have at least a dozen
4) Roses for Mama by Jeanette Oke
5) I have to agree with Bear - ziggythoughts

Five Reads to Make Me Think:
1) my Bible
2) Ultimate Weight Solution
3) The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
4) Blessing Your Husband
5) The Oath

Five Favorite Songs:
1) Day by Day
2) To God be the Glory
3) The Cheeseburger song
4) She Took it Like a Man
5) Ten Little Monkeys

Five Best Movies:
1) Sense and Sensibility
2) I, Robot
3) Return To Me
4) Finding Nemo
5) Monsters, Inc.

Five Best Comedies:
1) Arsenic and Old Lace
2) Hitch
3) The Pacifier
4) - I will have to fill these two in later :)
5)

And I'll add a couple of Bearsie's ideas:

Five Best Events in My Life:
1) My Wedding
2) The Births of my Children - actually that's three events
3) Our Move to Alaska
4) Catching my first Salmon
5) The first time my homeschooled son read something in a store

Five Best Ice Cream Flavors:
1) Haagen Dazs Coffee
2) Chocolate Peanut Butter
3) Moose Tracks
4) Ben and Jerry's Phish Food
5) Chocolate

So there you have it. Is that supposed to be me in a nut shell? Someone could read this list and tell you all about who I am and what makes me tick, huh? hmmm. Maybe I'll go read Bearsie's again.

My Hero

Last week, I had to call my husband to come rescue me at the beach - I had lost my key to my van. He was very gracious, picked up the kids where they were and came to give me his key. No complaints about I had pulled him away from work, no condemnation for losing a key. Nothing. Just rescued me, gave me a kiss and went home. He is so great.

What is something your husband has done for you lately to prove he is a hero?

One Thing I Love About Hubby

My husband does a lot of his contract work with another contractor in the area. Granted, these guys are friends outside of work and Hubby is a deacon where this guy is assistant pastor, but there are still few men who would have done what Woody did.
Hubby came home with Woody's business credit card earlier this week. Hubby had to stop at a local hardware store for some supplies for their job. We joked about using Woody's credit card for a vacation. Hubby told me, "When I get to work tomorrow, I'll tell Woody we thought about using his card for other stuff, and he'll say, 'Sure, you could have.'" The truth, next day at work, Woody did say that. But the reason Woody said that is that he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that Hubby would not do that.
So, what I love about my husband is that he is known as a trustworthy individual. Men trust him with their money, keys to their houses, whatever. And they refer him to others to do the same. It's great to know that he has a good reputation.

So, my question is: What is one trait you love about your husband?

Blessing Others

I recently went clam digging with friends. I don't like clams. But I went because our friends are an older couple in our church, they like clams, and they have trouble digging them. So, I helped them out. I was pleased with myself to be able to be a blessing to them.
What does this have to do with my marriage? The very next night, my husband came home with six salmon he had caught. We don't really care for salmon, but there they were. I quickly cleared his butchering area, complained that he hadn't filleted them at the river like he said he would, and went to take a shower. Less than twenty-four hours after being a blessing to someone else, I refused to bless him by, at the very least, having a good attitude about the fact that he'd had a good time fishing.

My question today: What is something you do for your husband that is a blessing to him?

By the way, I did apologize to my Hubby later, and help him package the salmon.